An Advent Longing

2 December MMXV

It can be no coincidence that our very last documents for China were sent as Advent arrived on the calendar. It seems rather appropriate. No longer distracted by checking things off of our adoption “to-do” list, the real waiting begins.

But in a silent way, Advent’s arrival this year does not seem so evident for us. Perhaps because our family has been living in an Advent of sorts since June when Song-Felicity entered our hearts and they began aching and longing for her. Everything that Advent ushers in…the aching and the longing, the hope that the light of the Christ Child is indeed dawning just beyond a horizon that we can see…faith that He is on His way though our weary world remains so dark…all of these emotions have been living in our home long before this liturgical Advent fell upon us.

So I find myself, this season, already somewhat weary of Advent though we have only just entered into it. Perhaps because its spirit has lived with me for nearly six months now. And perhaps because, if there is ever a time that mothers will especially ache for and long for the presence of their children, it is certainly during this season.

I long to witness Song-Felicity’s face as the lights of her first Christmas tree twinkle. I long to see her as she tastes eggnog, or, as our little ones call it, “Christmas milk”, for the first time. I long to snuggle her by a fire in our fire place that her Daddy built. I long to tuck her in at night wearing the Christmas pajamas that each of her siblings wore before her and I long to arrange the blankets around her with my own hands.

Advent…the longing and the hoping and the waiting in faith for the Child whose arrival has been promised is upon us. And as tired as I am of this season of waiting, awaiting the Christ Child does make awaiting my own child a little bit easier. Because I wait in the awareness that He is already with her in the space and in the distance that create my waiting.

O come, o come Emmanuel…”God with us.”

God be with us as we endure this season awaiting our baby.

God be with Song-Felicity as You, Yourself, prepare her heart to receive us.

God be with her foster mother who cares for our child as her own until we can get to her.

God be with her China mother whose heart surely breaks eternally in our daughter’s absence

God be with children and parents everywhere who are separated from each other.
O come, O come Emmanuel!

Please, come quickly.

Advent Wreath


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