China Baby Bonds

10 October MMXVI

Before leaving for China last June to bring Song-Felicity home, I was storming heaven with my prayers. I was both excited and anxious, fearful and faithful. My life those last days before travel was literally swimming in the prayerful petitions of a frightened and desperate mother who was aching to get to her China baby but deeply dreading leaving her other ones an ocean’s distance behind.

I am not a traveler. I have always been content to stay close to home. I live only a few miles and minutes from where I grew up and right next door to my grandmother’s home where my father did. I attend my same childhood church and my children go to the same school that I did at their age. I am more than content this way. Dorothy’s words upon returning from Oz have always resonated with me: “If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own backyard. Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with.”

So when God revealed to me that a precious part of my heart’s desire was not in my backyard but on the other side of the globe in a land both mysterious and unknown to me, I was more than a little uncomfortable. And I was torn. Every thing in me longed to get to my daughter but just as much of me was distressed at the thought of leaving her siblings so very far behind.

During those last days before travelling to China my prayers were primarily consumed with pleas for my children on both sides of the sea. But one prayer repeatedly surfaced for Jimmy and me…that God would connect us with another adopting family in China with whom we could share this adoption pilgrimage. Somehow, I instinctively knew we would find comfort through companions in a foreign land and I repeatedly pleaded with God to both send and reveal them to us.

And He did. So very beautifully.

We were in China only hours before I recognized His gift. A family in our agency’s travel group was traveling with two of their older children. Their children were delightful and spending time with them was such a comfort to Jimmy and me as we were missing our older children so deeply. I remember knowing that they would make good and fast friends with our flock back home. And this family had adopted a child before which was so encouraging to us a we stepped into the adoption arena and all of its emotions for the first time. They had navigated it only three years ago and were choosing to navigate it again. God knew that nothing could have been as comforting or as encouraging to us in those last days and hours before our daughter was placed into our arms as witnessing a family who believed in what we were doing enough to do it again themselves while bringing their children to witness it!

We received our daughters in China on the same day, at the same time, and in the same room… forging an intimacy that can be approached only by being present in the delivery room for a birth. We were witnesses to the raw emotions of those first few moments with our daughters. Over the next two weeks we witnessed the anxiety and grief in our baby girls and in each other. We listened to each other and encouraged each other and prayed for each other. In civil affairs offices and in police stations and in medical appointments, in the office of the U.S. Consulate General and ultimately on an endless airplane flight, we were present to each other and supported each other, and, when necessary, found much needed humor in the emotions and frustrations that surfaced as we learned to read and comfort our children.

At the end of our two weeks in China, I ached to see my state-side children but I grieved being separated from these friends and their support. I did not know how we would have been brave enough in China without them.

As we returned to our homes and to our other children and began adjusting with our China babies, we continued to encourage and to check on each other. We prayed each other and our babies through appointments with physicians and surgeries. We sent photographed images of our children as they bonded with their siblings and we joyfully awaited the day that we could meet again with all of our (11!) children.

A little over a week ago, our heaven-sent friends came through town on their way to visit family. The visit could not have been more of a gift. We had a beautiful early Autumn picnic and, as we watched our children play together, we witnessed how miraculously far our families have come since our precious time in China. I felt like there was hardly time to breathe! I had so much I longed to tell them and ask them and share with them and petition them to pray for while we had those precious moments face to face again!

By the time they left and I reflected on our time together, I realized that this precious family was way more than our China friends. They were our forever friends who God had sent to us while we were in China…when we desperately needed them…and Him.

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11



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